Just Give Me Some Time Sallie Mae

Sallie Mae has to be the thirstiest woman alive. She takes our virginity the second we step into the dorm room and keep calling us years after we’ve graduated. She only gives us 6 months to get our shit together before she slaps us in the face with monthly child support bills. It took former president, Barack Obama, decades to pay off his student loans and I only get 6 months? And the only reason he paid it off was because of his $1.9 million dollar book deal. Sallie Mae truly has to cut it out. She emails me everyday, constantly calls my aunts and uncles, and follows me on Instagram. It’s not that deep.

College is college; that’s my only explaination when people ask me should they go to school or not. Is it necessary, no, but does it help, of course. College grants students the possibility of living elsewhere, the possibility of living a whole new life, a start over. The reason I left Baltimore is because of school, had I not left, I’d probably be dead, but than again, had I not left I would’ve never met Sallie Mae. That’s something to think about. 

But college helps those who want to work for states, cities, those who want to learn techniques, and those who are unsure what they want to do. If finger painting is your passion and you do not need a degree to be successful, finger paint. But if you’ve been finger painting since you were twelve and your thumbs are all dried out by now, you might want to fill out some college applications.

There are some pros and cons, like everything else in life. With college you realize who you are and who you want to become. College makes you think, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. College makes you think, honestly college makes you think too much, about things like if you’re good enough, and will you be able to make it. These things are uncertain but if you keep pushing eventually you’ll have a breakthrough. 

I probably should’ve said this earlier but if you don’t know who Sallie Mae is you probably shouldn’t be reading this, but if you do, don’t sweat her. Sallie Mae is going to call you and she is going to keep calling you. Sallie Mae is going to press you like a broke baby mother. But you have to keep pushing forward. You might not be able to pay her child support bills now but eventually you’ll hand her a check, one fat check, and it’ll all be taken care of.


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